My Compass
by Lance Morehouse - Spokane, Washington

I have a compass in my life that helps keep me on track and going in the right direction. It all started years ago so let me tell you a little about this compass.

I got married when I was young, I was 18 and my wife was 17-years-old. My first son, that we named Lance Jr., was born the day before my 19th birthday. He missed my birthday by 11 hours! My second son, Beau, came 21 months later. About six months after Beau was born, my young wife and I separated and later divorced.

After my wife and I separated, the kids went back-and-forth between us for a period of time until I decided they needed structure and stability in their lives. I committed myself to be a single father of my two boys that lasted for the next 11 years. We were a family of three and all boys. I was still pretty young so I was enjoying what I call my second childhood. Seeing the boys grow up and being a part of that is the most meaningful thing I have done in my life and I have the memories to last forever.

Things were very stressful as a single father at a time when there were few fathers who had custody of their kids. Working full time, making sure the kids were taken care of and happy, searching for childcare providers who I could trust, making ends meet financially, and the loneliness I felt without a romantic relationship in my life. The boys and I spent a lot of time talking and crying together, holding it all together as a family unit. I think that that time in our lives is the reason we are still so close as a family.

Lance Jr. always had this amazing calming effect for me. When he saw me feeling down, he would always come over and give me a hug and tell me he loved me. We would have long talks about how we both missed his mother. He helped look out for his younger brother, Beau, and made sure he was okay. When I was not dealing with things in a very positive way, he told me so. He seemed so wise beyond his years—I believe he was an old soul.

When Lance Jr. was seven-years-old our family, once again, changed dramatically. Beau and Lance, along with two cousins, were playing next to a river, in a park in early March. The boys had found an empty cottage cheese container and had the bright idea to walk out onto the half-frozen river and throw the container in the water and watch it float away. Unfortunately, all four boys broke through the ice about halfway to the edge and plunged into the frigid water. The two cousins, who were a little older, were able to get out of the river and run to get help from their parents, who were at a nearby house. Lance and Beau remained in the hole in the ice.

To make a long story short, Lance Jr. was rescued by a diver 30-45 minutes later. He spent a month in the hospital before going to St. Anne’s children’s home for 1 years until we brought him home on Christmas Eve, 1991.

Because of the brain damage that occurred from the lack of oxygen, Lance Jr. was non-verbal for the next 17 years. However, this did not mean he didn’t communicate! We still had long talks about important decisions in our lives. He could tell me how he felt by the look in his eyes and the facial expressions he made. He was still the calming effect in our lives and led us to the right decisions as a family.

Lance Jr. passed away last September. Life seems so superficial now. Lance Jr. has taught me more about life than any other source. The experience of being his father and sharing his life is more than I could have ever dreamed of accomplishing in my lifetime. He was my teacher and I feel a responsibility to continue to share his message with the rest of the world.

Lance Jr. continues to be a calming presence in my life and the one, besides myself, who keeps me on track. He comes to me in my dreams mostly when I am not doing the best that I can. Lance Jr. truly is my compass and I believe he will be with me the rest of my days. As a matter of fact, I am counting on it.