We All Have Potential

"As a father I have learned to be patient with my children while they learn to overcome the problems that they encounter while dealing with their disabilities. It isn’t their fault they have a disability nor is it fair they have been dealt the "hand" the game of life has given them. But it is an opportunity for me and my wife to help these kids develop to their fullest potential while educating them and our community to accept persons with disabilities."






  We All Have Potential
Anthony H. Griffin

My wife and I have adopted three children with disabilities, and are in the process of adopting a fourth child with mild mental delays. We were foster parents for many years for children with disabilities in the State of Idaho. When we moved to Texas in 1975 we became foster parents again. We have had many wonderful experiences and received a fine education caring for these children. We became more and more disillusioned with being foster parents after each child left our home; it is hard to rear a child and have no say in what the future has in store for these kids.

In 1981 my wife saw a child with a disability up for adoption from Spaulding Southwest (now Spaulding for Children) on a segment, "Wednesday’s Child," on a local morning information show. This was an attempt to place children that are hard to adopt (i.e., sibling groups, older children, and children with disabilities) into a permanent home atmosphere.

Paul, a spastic quadriplegic, with fetal alcohol syndrome causing impulse control problems, was placed in our home in 1982. Paul is fifteen, a real charmer who cares about people and has lots of girlfriends. He enjoys school, doing his homework on our personal computers, playing computer games, listening to music, coloring with crayons and markers, swimming, and playing Nintendo. Last year he was a member of the student council at Miller Intermediate in Pasadena, Texas. Paul had wonderful foster parents and brothers during his formative years. We attribute Paul’s good personality in part to early happy years in his foster home.

Christopher, thirteen, was placed in our home in 1985. He has severe mental disability, mild autism, and a male linked recessive gene anomaly causing small birdlike features. Christopher has much difficulty with academic tasks; his core vocabulary is about eighty words, and he uses about twenty on a regular basis. It take Christopher about five years to gain six months worth of skills. He enjoys stacking blocks (he can stack them for hours), playing in "his" backyard, swimming, throwing just about anything (we have to be careful here), looking through magazines for pictures about food, eating, going "bye bye," and moving objects from one container to another. He hates going to school and taking baths. I guess his list of hates could go on forever, a problem with autistic children. Unlike his brother Paul, Christopher went from one foster home to another, and he didn’t have any stability during his formative years. We have had a long hard struggle to get Christopher to be able to play with other children, rather than just hit them. We obtained a medium sized dog about a year ago, and Christopher has come out of his autistic shell more because of "his dog" than any therapy. This past year has brought him and us a lot of joy.

Sheryl, nine, was placed in our home in 1987. She has retinopathy of the premature, caused from being given oxygen at birth. She had a cerebral hemorrhage at ten days of age causing cerebral palsy. Sheryl is also non-verbal and has much difficulty with academic tasks. She was born at six months, one week, and weighed less than two pounds. He birth mother was in a Phenobarbital coma. She has very little say in her small world, so she shows control by allowing or not deciding what foods she eats. Sheryl used to go days without eating. We finally had to have a gastrostomy tube installed through her stomach wall. She has gained twelve pounds in the years since the tube was installed. Sheryl enjoys listening to music and "reading tapes" for the blind, television programs that have screaming (the more the better), some cartoons, especially Roger Rabbit, animated Disney movies, baby dolls, and other things that all little girls like. She had been placed in an adoptive home prior to coming to our home. She came out of an institution where she was fed formula for the first three years of her life. She had very little nurturing during her formative years, and she was with us for about a month before the sparkle started coming into her eyes as she began to enjoy the personal contact of living in a nurturing atmosphere.

Kelly, five, was placed in our home in October of 1993. She has mild mental delays caused by fetal alcohol syndrome. She has no apparent physical problems, but she does have some impulse control problems, and some problems with academic tasks. Kimberly enjoys playing in "Christopher’s backyard," playing on the swing, chasing the dog, and running through the house and the backyard at top speed (she is very athletic). She can dribble a basketball, swim, jump on a trampoline, and she enjoys girls scouts and stuffed animals. She doesn’t enjoy television very much as she has a limited attention span.

Our journey has been full of trials, with illnesses and loss of friends due to adopting children with problems. We have learned to become advocates for our children’s rights, especially when it is time for an ARD (Admission Review Dismissal) to decide what our children are "not" going to be offered during the next school year. Fighting with insurance companies is ongoing because of the claim their policies do not cover special needs children when it comes to extended support services. My wife and I very seldom have the opportunity to get away for an evening, so our stress level sometimes becomes very high.

As a father I have learned to be patient with my children while they learn to overcome the problems that they encounter while dealing with their disabilities. It isn’t their fault they have a disability nor is it fair they have been dealt the "hand" the game of life has given them. But it is an opportunity for me and my wife to help these kids develop to their fullest potential while educating them and our community to accept persons with disabilities. We both do volunteer work in a variety of community organizations.

We have learned that a parent has to know what the laws really say in relation to children with disabilities, because no one but you has your child’s best interest in mind. We have learned from these children that no matter what problems an individual has, we all have potential, are capable of loving and giving love, and deserve the right to grow up in a home of caring family support.