Fathers Network What is Family?

What is Family?

"As individuals and organizations working with families, we need to consider what enhances family resilience, improves personal communication, and strengthens family supports."

What is Family?
James May

Cultural competence is ".... A program’s [and person’s] ability to honor and respect those beliefs, interpersonal styles, attitudes and behaviors both of families who are clients and the multicultural staff who are providing services." 1

What is Family?

"In the old days family meant people in a house together. But that was in a language so far back that all its words are gone, a language we can only imagine." 2

A family is a group of people who are important to each other and offer each other love and support, especially in times of crises. In order to be sensitive to the wide variety of life styles, living arrangements, and cultural variations that exist today, the family... can no longer be limited to just parent-child relationships... Family involvement must reach out to include: mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, grandparents, neighbors, and other persons who have important roles in the lives of people with disabilities.

As individuals and organizations working with families, we need to consider what enhances family resilience, improves personal communication, and strengthens family supports. Ask the question, are our services culturally competent and appropriate? Consider:

Be aware of the attitude we bring to families. "Values determine outcomes, attitudes determine outcomes, and one of the foremost things that health care providers must do is to examine their own values, look at their own behaviors and think about how they interact with families that they’re providing services to." (Herman Gray, M.D.)

"When working with families from diverse backgrounds, it is crucial to be a wise stranger." Listen, observe, ask questions, be a learner. From: Dennie Palmer Wolfe, Harvard University

Always know the 5 A’s of cultural competence 1; services must be:

-Available
-Affordable
-Accessible
-Appropriate
-Acceptable

Involve as many members of the "family" system as possible, including extended family, neighbors, siblings -- all those directly involved in the life and care of the child.
Provide places for families to grieve their losses. Grieving is not a one time thing. Wortman and Silver, Canadian researchers, talk about the myths of mourning. "There are no discrete stages that all family members go through, nor does each member experience each stage." Make sure all members of the family get a chance to grieve. Siblings lose a brother and sister they always wanted; and grandparents must grieve for two losses; the loss of the perfect grandchild they hoped for, and the pain they know their own children are experiencing. Respect the many different ways family members and cultures grieve; there is no correct way.
Providing avenues where all family members may share their fears, angers, resentments, joys, and concerns. Listen to family members, values their "truths" and "beliefs" as they see them. Take what people say seriously, and listen for their unstated hurts, fears and anxieties. For many anger really is a cover for fear, a fear of losing control, and underneath the fear is sadness.
Encourage family members to reach out for support. Isolation promotes helplessness. Use the resources of the community, including churches, strong neighborhood social networks, extended family.
Develop "interactive, transdisciplinary, collaborative approaches" to health care and education. Emphasize the relationship and personal, cultural well being of all family members and the providers who serve them.

References:

1 Roberts, R., et al. (1990). Developing culturally competent programs for children with special needs, Washington, DC: Georgetown University Child Development Center.

2 From: "Rich in Love"

3 From: OSERS Family Leadership Conference

4 Randall-David, E. (1989). Strategies for working with culturally diverse communities and clients, Comprehensive Hemophilia Program, Bowman Gray School of Medicine. Bethesda, MD: the Association for the Care of Children’s Health.