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Louie Mauro lives with his wife, Donna, and their two sons, Alex, 5, and David, 2, near Sacramento, California. Louie is a Deputy Attorney General with the California Department of Justice, and also serves on the Board of Directors of the head Trauma Support Project in Sacramento.
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A New Perspective on Development
Louie Mauro
When our first child, Alex, was born in 1989, we were armed with an arsenal of child development materials. Books outlining the first years of life, magazines charting the month-by-month progression of the typical infant. We poured over the texts in eager anticipation of each exciting milestone. Each author was careful to explain that every child develops at a different pace, that we should not place too much emphasis on the rather arbitrary averages outlines in the books. Good advice, we thought, as we eagerly charted our son's development to see how he stacked up against the "average" child.
Months passed, and an obvious truth became apparent -- our son was exceptional, a prodigy, gifted beyond compare. Although he wasn't solving math problems or playing the violin, the way he dropped his rubber ball into Tupperware containers was incredible to behold.
Our pride swelled with each new accomplishment. Alex began crawling at seven months. At ten months he was blowing into a kazoo -- Mozart probably didn't do that until he was a least a year! At 10 and a half months Alex was taking his first steps. At 12 months he was playing hide-and-seek, and at 12 and a half months, he began saying his first words.
At thirteen months he was struck by a drunk driver.
The development books were thrown out. Alex's severe brain injury destroyed most of his former functioning, leaving only unanswered questions. As we dealt with emotions ranging from shock to despair, we somehow tapped an inner source of strength. Believing that "normal" development was still an appropriate goal, we embarked on a plan to bring our child back.
Days turned to weeks, months to years. Therapists manipulated him, doctors prodded him, lab technicians poked him, but nobody seemed to have any solutions. Alex made some progress, but each subtle improvement was excruciatingly slow and required tremendous effort. Success came in the smallest gains -- the increased movement of his finger or the turn of his head. What once seemed the simplest of tasks -- grasping a rubber ball -- now appeared hopelessly complex and utterly unattainable.
And yet, transformations were occurring. Not so much in Alex, but in us. Slowly we began to appreciate the little miracles that were never mentioned in the child development books. Like the day when, for the first time since the accident, a tiny corner of Alex's mouth curled up in a barely noticeable smile. Or the time when we first began to realize that the "gleam" had returned to his eyes. Those small events would once have been overlooked. But now, with eyes opened by tragedy, we had come to recognize the magnitude of such moments.
In the midst of our transformation came another miracle -- the birth if our second son, David. As David grows, our sense of wonder deepens. His developmental pace is stunning. He initiates movement without our intervention, as if compelled by some innate mechanism. Nor is it necessary to "stimulate" his responsiveness; he interacts as if by magic. Miraculous "impossible" tasks, like grasping a rubber ball, he accomplishes effortlessly.
Child development books would describe David's progress as "normal" or "average." We know better. We have been offered a glimpse at the complexities attendant with every blink of an eye and every twitch of a finger; with that vision comes a newfound appreciation for the miracle of life. Development -- any development -- is nothing short of exceptional.
We once viewed the maturation process as something to expect. We now see it as something to revere. We have been blessed with two precious gifts, and for us, each new day is a cause for celebration.
Louie Mauro
2661 Knabe Court
Carmichael, CA 95608
Louie Mauro lives with his wife, Donna, and their two sons, Alex, 5, and David, 2, near Sacramento, California. Louie is a Deputy Attorney General with the California Department of Justice, and also serves on the Board of Directors of the head Trauma Support Project in Sacramento.
Published in "Fathers Voices," Exceptional Parent magazine, March, 1995
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